"Shut up stupid!"
"No you shut up retard!!!"
This is the type of relationship I share with Portia Demetra Blanchette. And although it sounds as if we are siblings arguing about whom will say shut up first, Portia is my older cousin. We often jokingly converse this way on the phone after work, texting while after work, and even on a face to face level. However our affiliation is deeper than any sibling disagreement. This correlation is more like a 100 year old tree, still standing, because the roots are in the inmost part of the soil. Having this type of relationship with Portia causes me to call her my hero because she is a positive example, optimistic, and reliable.
If there is anything that I love about my cousin, it’s her example to those that are younger, and older. I cannot begin to fathom how much inspiration she has spilled out to me ever since I was born. I have looked up to her like a child looks at a standing adult since I was an adolescent finding my way through life. When she graduated from high school, her mother paid for her to go staight to college. Despite this, Portia became rebellious and discontinued her college classes. Because of this, her mother made her work full time while staying in her house. When she was ready to go back, she would have to pay her own way through college. This did not stop her, However. She worked in retail while taking night classes at CWU. Everything was going pretty well, until Portia went to the doctor because her hands were tingling uncontrollably. The doctor told her that she had the Carpal Tunnel Syndrome and had to have surgery on both of her wrists. She had the surgery, and after she healed, went back to work and class. While this Painful syndrome in her wrist was still there, she pushed through it until her Graduation in 2007. She recieved her Associate of Arts with an emphasis on Accounting from CWU. Portia got a good paying job with that degree, but hasnt stopped there. When her job told her that she could get a higher paying job if she went back to college, she did just that. She is currently taking night classes at CWU, working in the daytime, and tutoring. This woman that I admire has all her priorities straight. Everything about her is positive, which is why I look up to her. I can trust that Portia will always speak and act positively at all times.
"It will get better Sasha."
"It will be okay."
"Things will work out,"
Are Portias' words that have raised my hope back up when it had gone down many times in my life. I don’t know how she does it, but with any and every situation, she somehow finds the good part in it. And when my life isn’t going so well, she tells me what to do to make it better. There have been numerous times where my mother had either kicked me out, or locked me out of the house and left me without anything or anywhere to go. But I know that I can call Portia at anytime for some positive words and wisdom, no matter how bad the situation may look. When I call her and tell her that my mother is being unfair or unlogical, she never hangs up the phone without giving me some type of positive solution. I can never talk to her without getting something positive out of the conversation, which makes my good days great, and my bad days better.
Portia is the most reliable, trusting person on earth to me! As I have stated before, my mother has kicked me out numerous times. Not only does she give me positive words of wisdom, but she also picks me up where ever I am, without me asking. When she says she is going to do something, she does it. I am currently working at DSW, but dont always get enough hours to pay my phone bill each month. When I called her and told her my situation, she took the initiative to help me pay my bill until I get another job, or more hours. And this is always done efficiently and timely, without question. Whenever I have asked her for anything, she finds a way to get it done. There have been times in the past before I was employed where I needed new/more clothes and my mother would not supply it. She never called my mom and yelled at her, but instead took me shopping for apparel for whatever season it was at the time, and some for the next season coming up. If she can’t get it done, there are alternatives given to get whatever I need accomplished. I can always rely on her to tell me the truth, no matter if I like it or not. She has never let me down on her word, or her trust. And it’s not just me, but everyone she encounters is never let down.
This Strong, African-American Woman that I call my cousin, has always been there, no matter what I have done in the past or present. I am lucky enough to have a family member to look to when things at home suddenly go wrong, or I have a tough decision to make in life. She is not only my cousin, but my hero.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
WEEKLY REFLECTION: FEBRUARY 9TH-12TH
1) How is class going this week?moves too fast/ moves about right/ moves too slow
Moves about right. I have been sick, so I have to catch up. But overall, about right.
2) The assignments are: too hard/ about right/ too easy
About right. I have been sick, so I have to catch up, but besides that, the assignments have been okay so far.
3) This week, here’s what helped me learn about writing and reading:
Having the one-on-one meetings with the teacher has helped me greatly in writing my essays.
4) This week, here’s what made it hard for me to learn about writing and reading:
Nothing that has to do with school has made it hard for me to learn about reading and writing. The only outside thing has been me being sick.
5) I have a question (or concern):
N/A
Moves about right. I have been sick, so I have to catch up. But overall, about right.
2) The assignments are: too hard/ about right/ too easy
About right. I have been sick, so I have to catch up, but besides that, the assignments have been okay so far.
3) This week, here’s what helped me learn about writing and reading:
Having the one-on-one meetings with the teacher has helped me greatly in writing my essays.
4) This week, here’s what made it hard for me to learn about writing and reading:
Nothing that has to do with school has made it hard for me to learn about reading and writing. The only outside thing has been me being sick.
5) I have a question (or concern):
N/A
Monday, February 9, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
ESSAY 2 REFLECTION
This essay gave me the worst headache that I have ever had for writing. I thought I got all the info I needed when in class, but my comments from Craig said different. If i could go back, I would have not gotten this horrible cold, and asked more questions. This essay made me feel as if the words of the class and teacher didnt mean anything when it came down to it.
Monday, January 26, 2009
ESSAY 2: DESCRIPTIVE ROUGH DRAFT
"Shut up stupid!"
"No you shut up retard!!!"
This is the type of relationship I share with Portia Demetra Blanchette. And although it sounds as if we are siblings arguing about whom will say shut up first, Portia is my older cousin. We often jokingly converse this way on the phone after work, texting while after work, and even on a face to face level. However our affiliation is deeper than any sibling disagreement. This correlation is more like a 100 year old tree, still standing, because the roots are in the inmost part of the soil. Portia is my hero because she is a positive example, optimistic, and reliable.
If there is anything that I love about my cousin, it’s her examaple to those that are younger, and older. I cannot begin to fathom how much inspiration she has spilled out to me ever since I was born I have looked up to her like a child looks at a standing adult since I was an adolescent finding my way through life for many reasons. For starters, Portia has graduated from college with a major in business, emphasis is accounting. After graduating high school, she started attending college, but stopped. However, despite her quitting once, she went back, working to pay her way. She graduated from CWU in 2007, but hasn’t stopped there. When her job told her that she could get a better paying accounting job if she went back to school, she did just that. She has night classes at CWU on highlines' campus, while working as an accountant. This woman that I admire has all her priorities straight. Everything about her is positive, which is why I look up to her. I can trust that Portia will always speak and act positively at all times.
“It will get better Sasha.”
“It will be okay.”
“Things will work out,”
Are Portias' words that have raised my hope back up when it had gone down many times in my life. I don’t know how she does it, but with any and every situation, she somehow finds the good part in it. And when my life isn’t going so well, she tells me what to do to make it better. I can never talk to her without getting something positive out of the conversation, which makes my good days great, and my bad days better.
Portia is the most reliable, trusting person on earth to me! When she says she is going to do something, she does it. Things are always done efficiently and timely, and never half done. Whenever I have asked her for anything, she finds a way to get it done. And if she can’t, there are alternatives given to get whatever I need accomplished. I can always rely on her to tell me the truth, no matter if I like it or not. She has never let me down on her word, or her trust. And it’s not just me, but everyone she encounters is never let down.
"No you shut up retard!!!"
This is the type of relationship I share with Portia Demetra Blanchette. And although it sounds as if we are siblings arguing about whom will say shut up first, Portia is my older cousin. We often jokingly converse this way on the phone after work, texting while after work, and even on a face to face level. However our affiliation is deeper than any sibling disagreement. This correlation is more like a 100 year old tree, still standing, because the roots are in the inmost part of the soil. Portia is my hero because she is a positive example, optimistic, and reliable.
If there is anything that I love about my cousin, it’s her examaple to those that are younger, and older. I cannot begin to fathom how much inspiration she has spilled out to me ever since I was born I have looked up to her like a child looks at a standing adult since I was an adolescent finding my way through life for many reasons. For starters, Portia has graduated from college with a major in business, emphasis is accounting. After graduating high school, she started attending college, but stopped. However, despite her quitting once, she went back, working to pay her way. She graduated from CWU in 2007, but hasn’t stopped there. When her job told her that she could get a better paying accounting job if she went back to school, she did just that. She has night classes at CWU on highlines' campus, while working as an accountant. This woman that I admire has all her priorities straight. Everything about her is positive, which is why I look up to her. I can trust that Portia will always speak and act positively at all times.
“It will get better Sasha.”
“It will be okay.”
“Things will work out,”
Are Portias' words that have raised my hope back up when it had gone down many times in my life. I don’t know how she does it, but with any and every situation, she somehow finds the good part in it. And when my life isn’t going so well, she tells me what to do to make it better. I can never talk to her without getting something positive out of the conversation, which makes my good days great, and my bad days better.
Portia is the most reliable, trusting person on earth to me! When she says she is going to do something, she does it. Things are always done efficiently and timely, and never half done. Whenever I have asked her for anything, she finds a way to get it done. And if she can’t, there are alternatives given to get whatever I need accomplished. I can always rely on her to tell me the truth, no matter if I like it or not. She has never let me down on her word, or her trust. And it’s not just me, but everyone she encounters is never let down.
Descriptive Essay Outline
Paragraph 1:
-Thesis Statement=positive example, optimistic, relaible
Paragraph 2:Positive example
-Graduated from college
-still in school
-strives to have the best
-has all her stuff together
-look up to her b/c her examples are positive
-trust her to speak, act positively
Paragraph 3:Optimistic
-always finds the good in the worst situation
-"it will get better" "be ok"
-when something isnt good in my life, she tells me what to do to make it better
-dosent dwell on the negative
Paragraph 4: Reliable
-always comes through for me when i need it
-tells me the truth
-never let anyone down
-trust her word
-mom kicked me out/locked me out of the house, she was the first person I called
-came through when mom didnt
-Thesis Statement=positive example, optimistic, relaible
Paragraph 2:Positive example
-Graduated from college
-still in school
-strives to have the best
-has all her stuff together
-look up to her b/c her examples are positive
-trust her to speak, act positively
Paragraph 3:Optimistic
-always finds the good in the worst situation
-"it will get better" "be ok"
-when something isnt good in my life, she tells me what to do to make it better
-dosent dwell on the negative
Paragraph 4: Reliable
-always comes through for me when i need it
-tells me the truth
-never let anyone down
-trust her word
-mom kicked me out/locked me out of the house, she was the first person I called
-came through when mom didnt
Thursday, January 22, 2009
DESCRIPTIVE ESSAY:PREWRITE
hero: Portia
"Shut up stupid!" "No you shut up retard!!!" This is the type of relationship I share with Portia Demetra Blanchette. And although it sounds as if we are siblings arguing about who will say shut up first, Portia is my older cousin. We often jokingly converse this way on the phone after work, texting while after work, and even on a face to face level. However our affiliaton is deeper than any sibling disagreement. this correlation is more like an 100 year old tree, still standing, because the roots are in the inmost part of the soil. the way she talks, communicates, looks, even critisizes makes her my true hero.
Hero: Music
As I get up in the morning with my voice sounding as if I were a grown, muscular man, I grab my towel and head to the shower. I turn the bathtub faucet on to the farthest left that it will go, assuring that the temperature is almost like stepping into a sauna at the spa. while waiting for the water to rise to the hottest, I turn on the stereo that rests on the top self that hovers above the toilet. I then slip all of my clothes off and then release the words and sounds that I trapped inside my stereo. As I step into the steaming, hot shower, the words that i discharged from the speakers, instruments and melodies, surround me, waking me up while the water hits my naked body. Its just me and music, music and I, in my bathroom. the harmonys will not critize, laugh, or talk about me behind my back like a backstabbing friend will do. I am free to be myself in musics presence, because it has no respect of person, nor will it judge me based on my appearance. Music is my get away, my escape, my hero.
Which one should I go with???
"Shut up stupid!" "No you shut up retard!!!" This is the type of relationship I share with Portia Demetra Blanchette. And although it sounds as if we are siblings arguing about who will say shut up first, Portia is my older cousin. We often jokingly converse this way on the phone after work, texting while after work, and even on a face to face level. However our affiliaton is deeper than any sibling disagreement. this correlation is more like an 100 year old tree, still standing, because the roots are in the inmost part of the soil. the way she talks, communicates, looks, even critisizes makes her my true hero.
Hero: Music
As I get up in the morning with my voice sounding as if I were a grown, muscular man, I grab my towel and head to the shower. I turn the bathtub faucet on to the farthest left that it will go, assuring that the temperature is almost like stepping into a sauna at the spa. while waiting for the water to rise to the hottest, I turn on the stereo that rests on the top self that hovers above the toilet. I then slip all of my clothes off and then release the words and sounds that I trapped inside my stereo. As I step into the steaming, hot shower, the words that i discharged from the speakers, instruments and melodies, surround me, waking me up while the water hits my naked body. Its just me and music, music and I, in my bathroom. the harmonys will not critize, laugh, or talk about me behind my back like a backstabbing friend will do. I am free to be myself in musics presence, because it has no respect of person, nor will it judge me based on my appearance. Music is my get away, my escape, my hero.
Which one should I go with???
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
REFLECTION ON ESSAY 1
I liked doing the expository essay writing prompt. for the next essay, I will keep the same prewriting format as before. I will, however ask more questions regarding anything I dont understand. Overall, this essay was a good start in writing in this class.
ESSAY 2 PREWRITE:DESCRIPTIVE
Paragraph 1:
-i was born into this world not knowing who, or what my mother looked like
-instead i was given to a totally different family
-this family saved me from a lot of emotional gaps
-however, i do not call them my hero
-i instead call my birth mother the hero in my life
paragraph 2:
-???
-i was born into this world not knowing who, or what my mother looked like
-instead i was given to a totally different family
-this family saved me from a lot of emotional gaps
-however, i do not call them my hero
-i instead call my birth mother the hero in my life
paragraph 2:
-???
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Essay 1: Final Draft
The Last Time I Cried
Crying has been used to express many emotions such as happiness, sadness, or anywhere in between since the world began. This wet expression is proven to relieve stress, pain, or to better show someone how one feels. In our society, tears are accepted my women rather than men. So given this fact, one would believe that I, being a young woman have had many occasions where I have cried. However, the last time I cried was in January of 2001.
I had only been eleven years old for about a month and attended Totem Middle School. It was a Friday night, and for some reason, I had a horrible stomach ache. So my mother let me sleep with her that night. I sometimes wish that I wasn’t in the room to overhear the worst phone call that Saturday morning. I acted as though I was still sleeping while my mom cried, saying, “why did you take him from us God?!?” when I couldn’t hold my pee any longer and decided to “wake up,” my mom broke the horrific news to me. In response, I just said “hmm” and went to the bathroom as though she had told me that the sky was blue. My denial stayed there until the day of the funeral.
It was the 21st of January. I remember my mom telling me to wear black because neither she nor I knew what to put on for that day. I wanted to wear something colorful and flashy, which would be the wrong attire for this ad occasion. But I was still not in tune with reality at the time, so everything seemed normal. When we arrived at the funeral with my family, I could see his head as I glanced at the casket while people went to view him, but yet thought nothing of it. I asked my mother if I could go see him, but received a rejection because I would have nightmares, according to my mother. I kept wondering why everyone that spoke at the funeral was speaking of him as though he wasn’t alive and why my aunt kept crying. It wasn’t until after the funeral that I allowed reality to sink into my soul. My cousin gave me a hug, and as she put her arms around me, it began to hit me. He was gone. Immediately tears came rushing down my face and I balled in my cousins arms.
His name was Alfred Douglas Rogers. He had a wife named Regina and two children, Brittany and Brandon. He was my God-fathers brother, so he knew me since birth. He was the nicest person I had ever met in my eleven years on this earth, and in my opinion, the closest to God. In other words, he was almost like Gods son. He attended the same church as my family and I did, so almost every Sunday after church, I would go over to his house. Every time he hugged me, it felt like a big angel bear protecting me from all the “bad” things in life. Because I didn’t have a father in my life, he was like the father I never had, and now like the father I will never have.
This man that graced my life with his presence with every encounter was the best thing that walked into my life. But just like that, he became the worst thing with one phone call on that Saturday morning. His wonderful aspects made me want him here on earth forever, but instead left me with a hole in my heart. This event quickly became the worst possible thing to ever happen to me now, and in the future. Therefore, I have no reason to express what we call crying about anything in life anymore.
Friday, January 9, 2009
ESSAY 1 FOR PEER REVIEW
PARAGRAPH 1:
CRYING HAS BEEN USED TO EXPRESS MANY EMOTIONS SUCH AS HAPPINESS, SADDNESS, OR ANYWHERE IN BETWEEN SINCE THE WORLD BEGAN. THIS WET EXPRESSION IS PROVEN TO RELIEVE STRESS, PAIN, OR TO BETTER SHOW SOMEONE HOW ONE FEELS. IN OUR SOCIETY, TEARS ARE MORE ACCEPTED BY WOMEN RATHER THAN MEN. SO GIVEN THIS FACT, ONE WOULD BELIEVE THAT I, BEING A YOUNG WOMAN HAVE HAD MANY OCCASIONS WHERE I HAVE CRIED. HOWEVER, THE LAST TIME I CRIED WAS IN JANUARY OF 2001.
PARAGRAPH 2:
I HAD ONLY BEEN ELEVEN YEARS OLD FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND ATTENDED TOTEM MIDDLE SCHOOL. IT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT, AND FOR SOME REASON, I HAD A HORRIBLE STOMACH ACHE. SO MY MOM LET ME SLEEP WITH HER THAT NIGHT. I SOMETIMES WISH THAT I WASNT IN THE ROOM TO OVERHEAR THE WORST PHONE CALL THAT SATURDAY MORNING. I ACTED AS THOUGH I WAS STILL SLEEPING WHILE MY MOM CRIED, SAYING, "WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM FROM US GOD?!?" WHEN I COULDNT HOLD MY PEE ANY LONGER AND DECIDED TO "WAKE UP," MY MOM BROKE THE HORRIFIC NEWS TO ME. IN RESPONCE, I JUST SAID "HMM" AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM AS THOUGH SHE HAD TOLD ME THAT THE SKY WAS BLUE. MY DENIAL STAYED THERE UNTIL THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL.
PARAGRAPH 3:
IT WAS ON THE 21ST OF JANUARY. I REMEMBER MY MOM TELLING ME TO WEAR BLACK BECAUSE NEITHER SHE OR I KNEW WHAT TO PUT ON FOR THAT DAY. I WANTED TO WEAR SOMETHING COLORFUL AND FLASHY, WHICH WOULD BE THE WRONG ATTIRE FOR THIS SAD OCCASION. BUT I WAS STILL NOT IN TUNE WITH REALITY AT THE TIME, SO EVERYTHING SEEMED NORMAL. WHEN WE ARRIVED AT THE FUNERAL WITH MY FAMILY, I COULD SEE HIS HEAD AS I GLANCED AT THE CASKET WHILE PEOPLE WENT TO VIEW HIM, BUT YET THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. I ASKED MY MOM IF I COULD GO SEE HIM, BUT RECIEVED A REJECTION BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE NIGHTMARES, ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER. I KEPT WONDERING WHY EVERYONE THAT SPOKE AT THE FUNERAL WAS SPEAKING OF HIM AS THOUGH HE WASNT ALIVE AND WHY MY AUNT KEPT CRYING. IT WASNT UNTIL AFTER THE FUNERAL THAT I ALLOWED REALITY TO SINK INTO MY SOUL. MY COUSIN GAVE ME A HUG, AND AS SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME, IT BEGAN TO HIT ME. HE WAS GONE. IMMEDIATELY TEARS CAME RUSHING DOWN MY FACE AND I BALLED IN MY COUSINS ARMS.
PARAGRAPH 4:
HIS NAME WAS ALFRED DOUGLAS ROGERS. HE HAD A WIFE NAMED REGINA AND TWO CHILDREN, BRITTANY AND BRANDON. HE WAS MY GOD FATHERS BROTHER, SO HE KNEW ME SINCE BIRTH. HE WAS THE NICEST PERSON I HAD EVER MET IN MY ELEVEN YEARS OF LIFE, AND IN MY OPINION, THE CLOSEST TO GOD. IN OTHER WORDS, I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS ALMOST LIKE GODS SON. HE ATTENDED THE SAME CHURCH AS MY FAMILY AND I DID, SO ALMOST EVERY SUNDAY, I WOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE AFTER CHURCH. EVERYTIME HE HUGGED ME, IT FELT LIKE A BIG ANGEL BEAR PROTECTING ME FROM ALL OF THE "BAD" THINGS IN LIFE. BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE A FATHER IN MY LIFE, HE WAS LIKE THE FATHER I NEVER HAD, AND NOW LIKE THE FATHER I WILL NEVER HAVE.
PARAGRAPH 5:
THIS MAN THAT GRACED MY LIFE WITH HIS PRESENCE WITH EVERY ENCOUNTER WAS THE BEST THING THAT WALKED INTO MY LIFE. BUT JUST LIKE THAT, HE BECAME THE WORST THING WITH ONE PHONE CALL ON THAT SATURDAY MORNING. HIS WONDERFUL ASPECTS MADE ME WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH FOREVER, BUT INSTEAD LEFT ME WITH A HOLE IN MY HEART. THIS EVENT QUICKLY BECAME THE WORST POSSIBLE THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME NOW, AND IN THE FUTURE. THEREFORE, I HAVE NO REASON TO EXPRESS WHAT WE CALL CRYING ABOUT ANYTHING IN LIFE ANYMORE.
CRYING HAS BEEN USED TO EXPRESS MANY EMOTIONS SUCH AS HAPPINESS, SADDNESS, OR ANYWHERE IN BETWEEN SINCE THE WORLD BEGAN. THIS WET EXPRESSION IS PROVEN TO RELIEVE STRESS, PAIN, OR TO BETTER SHOW SOMEONE HOW ONE FEELS. IN OUR SOCIETY, TEARS ARE MORE ACCEPTED BY WOMEN RATHER THAN MEN. SO GIVEN THIS FACT, ONE WOULD BELIEVE THAT I, BEING A YOUNG WOMAN HAVE HAD MANY OCCASIONS WHERE I HAVE CRIED. HOWEVER, THE LAST TIME I CRIED WAS IN JANUARY OF 2001.
PARAGRAPH 2:
I HAD ONLY BEEN ELEVEN YEARS OLD FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND ATTENDED TOTEM MIDDLE SCHOOL. IT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT, AND FOR SOME REASON, I HAD A HORRIBLE STOMACH ACHE. SO MY MOM LET ME SLEEP WITH HER THAT NIGHT. I SOMETIMES WISH THAT I WASNT IN THE ROOM TO OVERHEAR THE WORST PHONE CALL THAT SATURDAY MORNING. I ACTED AS THOUGH I WAS STILL SLEEPING WHILE MY MOM CRIED, SAYING, "WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM FROM US GOD?!?" WHEN I COULDNT HOLD MY PEE ANY LONGER AND DECIDED TO "WAKE UP," MY MOM BROKE THE HORRIFIC NEWS TO ME. IN RESPONCE, I JUST SAID "HMM" AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM AS THOUGH SHE HAD TOLD ME THAT THE SKY WAS BLUE. MY DENIAL STAYED THERE UNTIL THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL.
PARAGRAPH 3:
IT WAS ON THE 21ST OF JANUARY. I REMEMBER MY MOM TELLING ME TO WEAR BLACK BECAUSE NEITHER SHE OR I KNEW WHAT TO PUT ON FOR THAT DAY. I WANTED TO WEAR SOMETHING COLORFUL AND FLASHY, WHICH WOULD BE THE WRONG ATTIRE FOR THIS SAD OCCASION. BUT I WAS STILL NOT IN TUNE WITH REALITY AT THE TIME, SO EVERYTHING SEEMED NORMAL. WHEN WE ARRIVED AT THE FUNERAL WITH MY FAMILY, I COULD SEE HIS HEAD AS I GLANCED AT THE CASKET WHILE PEOPLE WENT TO VIEW HIM, BUT YET THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. I ASKED MY MOM IF I COULD GO SEE HIM, BUT RECIEVED A REJECTION BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE NIGHTMARES, ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER. I KEPT WONDERING WHY EVERYONE THAT SPOKE AT THE FUNERAL WAS SPEAKING OF HIM AS THOUGH HE WASNT ALIVE AND WHY MY AUNT KEPT CRYING. IT WASNT UNTIL AFTER THE FUNERAL THAT I ALLOWED REALITY TO SINK INTO MY SOUL. MY COUSIN GAVE ME A HUG, AND AS SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME, IT BEGAN TO HIT ME. HE WAS GONE. IMMEDIATELY TEARS CAME RUSHING DOWN MY FACE AND I BALLED IN MY COUSINS ARMS.
PARAGRAPH 4:
HIS NAME WAS ALFRED DOUGLAS ROGERS. HE HAD A WIFE NAMED REGINA AND TWO CHILDREN, BRITTANY AND BRANDON. HE WAS MY GOD FATHERS BROTHER, SO HE KNEW ME SINCE BIRTH. HE WAS THE NICEST PERSON I HAD EVER MET IN MY ELEVEN YEARS OF LIFE, AND IN MY OPINION, THE CLOSEST TO GOD. IN OTHER WORDS, I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS ALMOST LIKE GODS SON. HE ATTENDED THE SAME CHURCH AS MY FAMILY AND I DID, SO ALMOST EVERY SUNDAY, I WOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE AFTER CHURCH. EVERYTIME HE HUGGED ME, IT FELT LIKE A BIG ANGEL BEAR PROTECTING ME FROM ALL OF THE "BAD" THINGS IN LIFE. BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE A FATHER IN MY LIFE, HE WAS LIKE THE FATHER I NEVER HAD, AND NOW LIKE THE FATHER I WILL NEVER HAVE.
PARAGRAPH 5:
THIS MAN THAT GRACED MY LIFE WITH HIS PRESENCE WITH EVERY ENCOUNTER WAS THE BEST THING THAT WALKED INTO MY LIFE. BUT JUST LIKE THAT, HE BECAME THE WORST THING WITH ONE PHONE CALL ON THAT SATURDAY MORNING. HIS WONDERFUL ASPECTS MADE ME WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH FOREVER, BUT INSTEAD LEFT ME WITH A HOLE IN MY HEART. THIS EVENT QUICKLY BECAME THE WORST POSSIBLE THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME NOW, AND IN THE FUTURE. THEREFORE, I HAVE NO REASON TO EXPRESS WHAT WE CALL CRYING ABOUT ANYTHING IN LIFE ANYMORE.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
ESSAY 1: PREWRITING 3
PARAGRAPH 2:
I HAD ONLY BEEN ELEVEN YEARS OLD FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND ATTENDED TOTEM MIDDLE SCHOOL. IT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT, AND FOR SOME REASON, I HAD A HORRIBLE STOMACH ACHE. SO MY MOM LET ME SLEEP WITH HER THAT NIGHT. I SOMETIMES WISH THAT I WASNT IN THE ROOM TO OVERHEAR THE WORST PHONE CALL THAT SATURDAY MORNING. I ACTED AS THOUGH I WAS STILL SLEEPING WHILE MY MOM CRIED, SAYING, "WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM FROM US GOD?!?" WHEN I COULDNT HOLD MY PEE ANY LONGER AND DECIDED TO "WAKE UP," MY MOM BROKE THE HORRIFIC NEWS TO ME. IN RESPONCE, I JUST SAID "HMM" AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM AS THOUGH SHE HAD TOLD ME THAT THE SKY WAS BLUE. MY DENIAL STAYED THERE UNTIL THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL.
PARAGRAPH 3:
IT WAS ON THE 21ST OF JANUARY. I REMEMBER MY MOM TELLING ME TO WEAR BLACK BECAUSE NEITHER SHE OR I KNEW WHAT TO PUT ON FOR THAT DAY. I WANTED TO WEAR SOMETHING COLORFUL AND FLASHY, WHICH WOULD BE THE WRONG ATTIRE FOR THIS SAD OCCASION. BUT I WAS STILL NOT IN TUNE WITH REALITY AT THE TIME, SO EVERYTHING SEEMED NORMAL. WHEN WE ARRIVED AT THE FUNERAL WITH MY FAMILY, I COULD SEE HIS HEAD AS I GLANCED AT THE CASKET WHILE PEOPLE WENT TO VIEW HIM, BUT YET THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. I ASKED MY MOM IF I COULD GO SEE HIM, BUT RECIEVED A REJECTION BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE NIGHTMARES, ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER. I KEPT WONDERING WHY EVERYONE THAT SPOKE AT THE FUNERAL WAS SPEAKING OF HIM AS THOUGH HE WASNT ALIVE AND WHY MY AUNT KEPT CRYING. IT WASNT UNTIL AFTER THE FUNERAL THAT I ALLOWED REALITY TO SINK INTO MY SOUL. MY COUSIN GAVE ME A HUG, AND AS SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME, IT BEGAN TO HIT ME. HE WAS GONE. IMMEDIATELY TEARS CAME RUSHING DOWN MY FACE AND I BALLED IN MY COUSINS ARMS.
PARAGRAPH 4
HIS NAME WAS ALFRED DOUGLAS ROGERS. HE HAD A WIFE NAMED REGINA AND TWO CHILDREN, BRITTANY AND BRANDON. HE WAS MY GOD FATHERS BROTHER, SO HE KNEW ME SINCE BIRTH. HE WAS THE NICEST PERSON I HAD EVER MET IN MY ELEVEN YEARS OF LIFE, AND IN MY OPINION, THE CLOSEST TO GOD. IN OTHER WORDS, I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS ALMOST LIKE GODS SON. HE ATTENDED THE SAME CHURCH AS MY FAMILY AND I DID, SO ALMOST EVERY SUNDAY, I WOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE AFTER CHURCH. EVERYTIME HE HUGGED ME, IT FELT LIKE A BIG ANGEL BEAR PROTECTING ME FROM ALL OF THE "BAD" THINGS IN LIFE. BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE A FATHER IN MY LIFE, HE WAS LIKE THE FATHER I NEVER HAD, AND NOW LIKE THE FATHER I WILL NEVER HAVE.
I HAD ONLY BEEN ELEVEN YEARS OLD FOR ABOUT A MONTH AND ATTENDED TOTEM MIDDLE SCHOOL. IT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT, AND FOR SOME REASON, I HAD A HORRIBLE STOMACH ACHE. SO MY MOM LET ME SLEEP WITH HER THAT NIGHT. I SOMETIMES WISH THAT I WASNT IN THE ROOM TO OVERHEAR THE WORST PHONE CALL THAT SATURDAY MORNING. I ACTED AS THOUGH I WAS STILL SLEEPING WHILE MY MOM CRIED, SAYING, "WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM FROM US GOD?!?" WHEN I COULDNT HOLD MY PEE ANY LONGER AND DECIDED TO "WAKE UP," MY MOM BROKE THE HORRIFIC NEWS TO ME. IN RESPONCE, I JUST SAID "HMM" AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM AS THOUGH SHE HAD TOLD ME THAT THE SKY WAS BLUE. MY DENIAL STAYED THERE UNTIL THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL.
PARAGRAPH 3:
IT WAS ON THE 21ST OF JANUARY. I REMEMBER MY MOM TELLING ME TO WEAR BLACK BECAUSE NEITHER SHE OR I KNEW WHAT TO PUT ON FOR THAT DAY. I WANTED TO WEAR SOMETHING COLORFUL AND FLASHY, WHICH WOULD BE THE WRONG ATTIRE FOR THIS SAD OCCASION. BUT I WAS STILL NOT IN TUNE WITH REALITY AT THE TIME, SO EVERYTHING SEEMED NORMAL. WHEN WE ARRIVED AT THE FUNERAL WITH MY FAMILY, I COULD SEE HIS HEAD AS I GLANCED AT THE CASKET WHILE PEOPLE WENT TO VIEW HIM, BUT YET THOUGHT NOTHING OF IT. I ASKED MY MOM IF I COULD GO SEE HIM, BUT RECIEVED A REJECTION BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE NIGHTMARES, ACCORDING TO MY MOTHER. I KEPT WONDERING WHY EVERYONE THAT SPOKE AT THE FUNERAL WAS SPEAKING OF HIM AS THOUGH HE WASNT ALIVE AND WHY MY AUNT KEPT CRYING. IT WASNT UNTIL AFTER THE FUNERAL THAT I ALLOWED REALITY TO SINK INTO MY SOUL. MY COUSIN GAVE ME A HUG, AND AS SHE PUT HER ARMS AROUND ME, IT BEGAN TO HIT ME. HE WAS GONE. IMMEDIATELY TEARS CAME RUSHING DOWN MY FACE AND I BALLED IN MY COUSINS ARMS.
PARAGRAPH 4
HIS NAME WAS ALFRED DOUGLAS ROGERS. HE HAD A WIFE NAMED REGINA AND TWO CHILDREN, BRITTANY AND BRANDON. HE WAS MY GOD FATHERS BROTHER, SO HE KNEW ME SINCE BIRTH. HE WAS THE NICEST PERSON I HAD EVER MET IN MY ELEVEN YEARS OF LIFE, AND IN MY OPINION, THE CLOSEST TO GOD. IN OTHER WORDS, I THOUGHT THAT HE WAS ALMOST LIKE GODS SON. HE ATTENDED THE SAME CHURCH AS MY FAMILY AND I DID, SO ALMOST EVERY SUNDAY, I WOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE AFTER CHURCH. EVERYTIME HE HUGGED ME, IT FELT LIKE A BIG ANGEL BEAR PROTECTING ME FROM ALL OF THE "BAD" THINGS IN LIFE. BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE A FATHER IN MY LIFE, HE WAS LIKE THE FATHER I NEVER HAD, AND NOW LIKE THE FATHER I WILL NEVER HAVE.
HOMEWORK FROM JANUARY 6TH
BOTH OF THESE SITES ARE EXAMPLES OF EXPOSITORY WRITING. STORYCORPS TELLS US MANY DIFFERENT STORIES, AND THIS I BELIEVE INFORMS US ON THE MANY DIFFERENT RELIGIONS AND BELIEFS THAT PPL HAVE. THEREFORE, BOTH SITES ARE EXPOSITORY WRITING.
ESSAY 1: PREWRITING 2
PARAGRAPH 1:
CRYING HAS BEEN USED TO EXPRESS MANY EMOTIONS SUCH AS HAPPINESS, SADDNESS, OR ANYWHERE IN BETWEEN SINCE THE WORLD BEGAN. THIS WET EXPRESSION IS PROVEN TO RELIEVE STRESS, PAIN, OR TO BETTER SHOW SOMEONE HOW ONE FEELS. IN OUR SOCIETY, TEARS ARE MORE ACCEPTED BY WOMEN RATHER THAN MEN. SO GIVEN THIS FACT, ONE WOULD BELIEVE THAT I, BEING A YOUNG WOMAN HAVE HAD MANY OCCASIONS WHERE I HAVE CRIED. HOWEVER, THE LAST TIME I CRIED WAS IN JANUARY OF 2001.
PARAGRAPH 5:
THIS MAN THAT GRACED MY LIFE WITH HIS PRESENCE WITH EVERY ENCOUNTER WAS THE BEST THING THAT WALKED INTO MY LIFE. BUT JUST LIKE THAT, HE BECAME THE WORST THING WITH ONE PHONE CALL ON THAT SATURDAY MORNING. HIS WONDERFUL ASPECTS MADE ME WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH FOREVER, BUT INSTEAD LEFT ME WITH A HOLE IN MY HEART. THIS EVENT QUICKLY BECAME THE WORST POSSIBLE THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME NOW, AND IN THE FUTURE. THEREFORE, I HAVE NO REASON TO EXPRESS WHAT WE CALL CRYING ABOUT ANYTHING IN LIFE ANYMORE.
CRYING HAS BEEN USED TO EXPRESS MANY EMOTIONS SUCH AS HAPPINESS, SADDNESS, OR ANYWHERE IN BETWEEN SINCE THE WORLD BEGAN. THIS WET EXPRESSION IS PROVEN TO RELIEVE STRESS, PAIN, OR TO BETTER SHOW SOMEONE HOW ONE FEELS. IN OUR SOCIETY, TEARS ARE MORE ACCEPTED BY WOMEN RATHER THAN MEN. SO GIVEN THIS FACT, ONE WOULD BELIEVE THAT I, BEING A YOUNG WOMAN HAVE HAD MANY OCCASIONS WHERE I HAVE CRIED. HOWEVER, THE LAST TIME I CRIED WAS IN JANUARY OF 2001.
PARAGRAPH 5:
THIS MAN THAT GRACED MY LIFE WITH HIS PRESENCE WITH EVERY ENCOUNTER WAS THE BEST THING THAT WALKED INTO MY LIFE. BUT JUST LIKE THAT, HE BECAME THE WORST THING WITH ONE PHONE CALL ON THAT SATURDAY MORNING. HIS WONDERFUL ASPECTS MADE ME WANT HIM HERE ON EARTH FOREVER, BUT INSTEAD LEFT ME WITH A HOLE IN MY HEART. THIS EVENT QUICKLY BECAME THE WORST POSSIBLE THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME NOW, AND IN THE FUTURE. THEREFORE, I HAVE NO REASON TO EXPRESS WHAT WE CALL CRYING ABOUT ANYTHING IN LIFE ANYMORE.
SOME USES OF BLOGS IN EDUCATION
QUESTION:
HOW MANY TEACHERS REALLY USE BLOGGING AS A TOOL FOR EDUCATION???/ HAS THERE BEEN ANY CONTROVERSY ON USING BLOGS FOR EDUCATION???
STATEMENT:
MOST STUDENTS USE BLOGGING FOR PERSONAL USE RATHER THAN EDUCATIONAL USE.
HOW MANY TEACHERS REALLY USE BLOGGING AS A TOOL FOR EDUCATION???/ HAS THERE BEEN ANY CONTROVERSY ON USING BLOGS FOR EDUCATION???
STATEMENT:
MOST STUDENTS USE BLOGGING FOR PERSONAL USE RATHER THAN EDUCATIONAL USE.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
STORYCORPS
Paragraph 1:
-Many ppl cry to express saddness, or emotional happiness
-It is proven to relieve stress and emotional pain
-Womens tears are more accepted in our society then mens
-given this fact, one would believe that I, being a young woman have had many occasions where i have cried.
-last time i cried january 2001
paragraph 2
-january 2001
-just turned 11 and went to totem middle school
-friday night, bad stomach ache
-slept with my mom that night
-early saturday morning, mom got the worst phone call i could possibly overhear
-heard my mom crying saying, "why did you take him from us God!?!"
-still in denial
Paragraph 3
-funeral on the 21st.
-mom wouldnt let me view the body saying that i would have nightmares
-my cousin gave me a hug, broke down in tears
PARAGRAPH 4
-His name was Alfred Douglas Rogers
-he was like the father i never had
-go to his house almost every sunday after church
-hugs felt like a big bear protecting me
-wife & kids
-the nicest person
-the best person next to God in my opinion
-Goddads brother
Paragraph 5
-given his wonderful aspects, thought that him leaving was the worst that could happen now and in the future
-there was nothing else as bad as this that could ever happen to me
-no reason to cry over other things in life anymore
-Many ppl cry to express saddness, or emotional happiness
-It is proven to relieve stress and emotional pain
-Womens tears are more accepted in our society then mens
-given this fact, one would believe that I, being a young woman have had many occasions where i have cried.
-last time i cried january 2001
paragraph 2
-january 2001
-just turned 11 and went to totem middle school
-friday night, bad stomach ache
-slept with my mom that night
-early saturday morning, mom got the worst phone call i could possibly overhear
-heard my mom crying saying, "why did you take him from us God!?!"
-still in denial
Paragraph 3
-funeral on the 21st.
-mom wouldnt let me view the body saying that i would have nightmares
-my cousin gave me a hug, broke down in tears
PARAGRAPH 4
-His name was Alfred Douglas Rogers
-he was like the father i never had
-go to his house almost every sunday after church
-hugs felt like a big bear protecting me
-wife & kids
-the nicest person
-the best person next to God in my opinion
-Goddads brother
Paragraph 5
-given his wonderful aspects, thought that him leaving was the worst that could happen now and in the future
-there was nothing else as bad as this that could ever happen to me
-no reason to cry over other things in life anymore
EMOTION CHECK
WORTHLESS
HOW COULD A REGULAR THURSDAY TURN INTO ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES?!? "WHY ME" WAS THE QUESTION THAT RAN AROUND MY HEAD TO FAST FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT!!! I FELT UNUSUALLY LYKE A PIECE OF PURE SHIT THAT IT ALMOST MADE ME SICK!!! AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS THATS NOT THE SASHA THEY KNOW SO I HAD TO PUT MYSELF IN AN EMOTION CHECK. BUT IN THIS ROLLER COASTER PROCESS I SHELTER MYSELF FROM MY PEERS AT SCHOOL. AWAY FROM ANYONE THAT CAN SEE THROUGH MY HAPPY FACE OR SENSE MY PAIN. SO LETS THINK......MUSIC!!! I DOWNLOAD HELLA SONGS THAT GET MY MIND OFF THE HIDDEN ISSUES.......BUT ITS STILL THERE. BEING ALONE MIGHT WORK!!! SO I REJECT CERTAIN CALLS OR KEEP MY CONVERSATIONS TO A MINIMUM. I STAY AT HOME AND IF NEEDED, I METRO IT OR WALK INSTEAD OF A RIDE. IM ONLY SOCIALIZING WITH CERTAIN FAMILY MEMBERS WHICH ISNT MANY SADLY......AND YET ITS SITTING THERE. I EVEN STAY OUT HELLA LATE, COME HOME, SLEEP, WAKE UP, AND GET OUT QUICK ENOUGH TO AVOID BIG MOMS!!! I SUCCEED, BUT ITS STILL THERE!!! AND JUST WHEN I BEGIN TO HEAL, MOMS TELLS ME THAT I GOTTA FIND ANOTHER ROOF TO LAY UNDER!!! BUT I LAUGH AND SAY "OK" AND LEAVE. BUT BEHIND THAT LAUGH I FELT UNWANTED, LIKE I WAS ONLY USED FOR THE CHECK SHE GETS EVERY MONTH!!! FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS I HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED AND TRICKED INTO BELIEVING THAT I WAS WANTED BESIDES THE MONEY GIVEN FOR ME BEING UNDER YOUR ROOF, BUT I WAS WRONG!!! SO I END UP WITH MY BESTFRIEND SINCE 8TH GRADE. ME, HER, AND SOME OLD TJ HOMIES MEET UP WITH SOME MEXICAN ESSAYS. I REUNITE MYSELF WITH THE BLUNT....UNFORTUNATELY AND HAVE A COUPLE BOTTLES OF BACARDI TO MYSELF. ITS FUNNY HOW WHILE IM IN THIS STATE, I REALIZE SOMETHING: WHY WOULD I ALLOW THIS TO COVER UP THE REAL ME??? I CANT LET THIS GET THE BEST OF ME!!! AND AINT NOBODY, NOT EVEN MOMS IS GONNA BRING ME DOWN AS LOW AS I WAS AGAIN!!! NO LONGER WILL I LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING MANIPULATE MY EMOTIONS OR WHAT I NEED!!! SO WHEN I WENT TO SLEEP THAT CRAZY SUNDAY NIGHT, I WOKE UP, AND THE SMILE ON MY FACE WAS NO LONGER A FAKE BUT A REAL ONE!!!
HOW COULD A REGULAR THURSDAY TURN INTO ONE OF THE WORST DAYS OF MY LIFE IN LESS THAN 10 MINUTES?!? "WHY ME" WAS THE QUESTION THAT RAN AROUND MY HEAD TO FAST FOR ME TO THINK ABOUT!!! I FELT UNUSUALLY LYKE A PIECE OF PURE SHIT THAT IT ALMOST MADE ME SICK!!! AND AS EVERYONE KNOWS THATS NOT THE SASHA THEY KNOW SO I HAD TO PUT MYSELF IN AN EMOTION CHECK. BUT IN THIS ROLLER COASTER PROCESS I SHELTER MYSELF FROM MY PEERS AT SCHOOL. AWAY FROM ANYONE THAT CAN SEE THROUGH MY HAPPY FACE OR SENSE MY PAIN. SO LETS THINK......MUSIC!!! I DOWNLOAD HELLA SONGS THAT GET MY MIND OFF THE HIDDEN ISSUES.......BUT ITS STILL THERE. BEING ALONE MIGHT WORK!!! SO I REJECT CERTAIN CALLS OR KEEP MY CONVERSATIONS TO A MINIMUM. I STAY AT HOME AND IF NEEDED, I METRO IT OR WALK INSTEAD OF A RIDE. IM ONLY SOCIALIZING WITH CERTAIN FAMILY MEMBERS WHICH ISNT MANY SADLY......AND YET ITS SITTING THERE. I EVEN STAY OUT HELLA LATE, COME HOME, SLEEP, WAKE UP, AND GET OUT QUICK ENOUGH TO AVOID BIG MOMS!!! I SUCCEED, BUT ITS STILL THERE!!! AND JUST WHEN I BEGIN TO HEAL, MOMS TELLS ME THAT I GOTTA FIND ANOTHER ROOF TO LAY UNDER!!! BUT I LAUGH AND SAY "OK" AND LEAVE. BUT BEHIND THAT LAUGH I FELT UNWANTED, LIKE I WAS ONLY USED FOR THE CHECK SHE GETS EVERY MONTH!!! FOR THE PAST 17 YEARS I HAVE BEEN MANIPULATED AND TRICKED INTO BELIEVING THAT I WAS WANTED BESIDES THE MONEY GIVEN FOR ME BEING UNDER YOUR ROOF, BUT I WAS WRONG!!! SO I END UP WITH MY BESTFRIEND SINCE 8TH GRADE. ME, HER, AND SOME OLD TJ HOMIES MEET UP WITH SOME MEXICAN ESSAYS. I REUNITE MYSELF WITH THE BLUNT....UNFORTUNATELY AND HAVE A COUPLE BOTTLES OF BACARDI TO MYSELF. ITS FUNNY HOW WHILE IM IN THIS STATE, I REALIZE SOMETHING: WHY WOULD I ALLOW THIS TO COVER UP THE REAL ME??? I CANT LET THIS GET THE BEST OF ME!!! AND AINT NOBODY, NOT EVEN MOMS IS GONNA BRING ME DOWN AS LOW AS I WAS AGAIN!!! NO LONGER WILL I LET ANYONE OR ANYTHING MANIPULATE MY EMOTIONS OR WHAT I NEED!!! SO WHEN I WENT TO SLEEP THAT CRAZY SUNDAY NIGHT, I WOKE UP, AND THE SMILE ON MY FACE WAS NO LONGER A FAKE BUT A REAL ONE!!!
MR. CHARLES
APRIL 23, 2008. THE DAY SHE WOULD RECEIVE HER WINNERS FOR LIFE AWARD. AND EVEN THOUGH I CONGRATUALATED HER, I HAD OTHER INTENTIONS BEFORE SHE LEFT THAT MORNING. I KEPT REMEMBERING HER SAY, "THINK WITH YOUR HEART MARVIN, NOT YOUR DICK," BUT FOOLISHLY, I DECIDED TO IGNORE IT FOR ONE DAY. WHEN SHE OPENED THE DOOR AND SAID, "IM ABOUT TO LEAVE," I KNEW SHE WASN'T THINKING WHAT I WAS THINKING, BUT I WAS IGNORANT TO THAT FACT. I HAVE TO ADMIT, THIS GIRL WAS LOOKIN GOOD IN HER BROWN PIN STRIPE SLACKS, BUT MY DICK WASNTED THEM OFF. GETTING SOME WAS ALL THAT WAS ON MY MIND, AND HOW EVER I GOT IT DIDN'T MATTER. JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT MORNING MAKES ME SICK, BUT AT THE TIME I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. IT WAS FUNNY THAT I USED MY STRENGTH TO GET WHAT I WANTED. IT WAS FUNNY THAT I WAS ABLE TO CATCH HER OFF GUARD THAT QUICK. IT WAS EVEN MORE FUNNY THAT ALTHOUGH SHE FOUGHT AND TRIED AS HARD AS SHE COULD, I STILL RECEIVED MY WANT. IT WASN'T UNTIL I HEARD THAT GOONS WAS LURKIN FOR ME THAT I REALIZED I WAS THE ONLY ONE LAUGHING. IT HIT ME REAL QUICK THAT I HAD FORCED HER TO DO SOMETHING SHE DIDN'T WANT TO DO. THEN IT ALL CAME BACK. HER "STOP'S" AND "NO'S" AND "MARVIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?" BUT THE THING THAT HIT ME MOST IS REMEMBERING HER TRYING TO SCREAM, AND WHILE I PENETRATED HER AND PUT MY HAND OVER HER MOUTH, HER WHIMPERING CRIES AS I GOT WHAT I WANTED. I HAD USED MY 6'6 FRAME TO PIN HER DOWN, KNOWING HER ATTEMPTS TO GET AWAY WERE PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE. I THOUGHT WITH MY DICK FOR ONE DAY, AND I SCARRED HER FOR LIFE. GOT WHAT I WANTED, BUT SHE HATES ME WITH A PASSION. I HURT THIS GIRL TO THE FULLEST EXTENT, AND I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP TO HER. I DISRESPECTED HER IN THE WORST WAY, BUT YET SHE HAS NEVER DISRESPECTED ME IN ANY WAY. AFTER I PLEADED AND BEGGED HER TO RESPOND TO MY DEEPEST APOLOGIES, HER SILENCE BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. WAKING UP THE NEXT MORNING KNOWING THAT ILL NEVER TALK TO SASHA AGAIN MAKES ME ALMOST NOT WANT TO LIVE LIFE AT TIMES. BUT SHE HASN'T EVEN GOTTEN SLEEP SINCE THEN AND EVERYDAY SHE BLAMES HERSELF FOR MY ACTIONS. I WANT TO GET WHAT I DESERVE. I WANT MY ASS BEAT, I WANT THE POLICE CLLED, AND I WANT HER TO CUSS ME OUT. BUT INSTEAD, SHE SAYS IM NOT WORTH THE TIME. SHE EVEN SAUD THAT I COULD DO WHATEVER POSSIBLE TO TRY TO MAKE IT UP TO HER. AND ALTHOUGH THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO TO MAKE IT UP TO HER, I KNOW THAT I AM EVEN LUCKY TO BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE THINGS SOMEWHAT RIGHT. THIS YOUNG WOMAN THAT I HAVE KNOWN FOR ALMOST FOUR YEARS HAD NEVER WASTED HER TIME BEING ANGRY, AND IN THE MIDST OF PEOPLE DOING WRONG, HAS ALWAYS BEEN HUMBLE AND FORGIVING. AND EVER SINCE I MER HER IN 'O5, SHE HAS ALWAYS HAD THIS THING ABOUT HER THAT MADE ME WANT TO BE BETTER EVERYDAY. SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IT ANYMORE, BUT ONE REASON WHY I DO LOVE HER IS BECAUSE SHE MAKES ME BETTER, AND BECAUSE OF HER, I WILL BECOME BETTER WITH EVERYDAY THAT PASSES BY. I DOUBT THAT WE WILL EVER GET BACK TI BEING FRIENDS AGAIN, BUT IF GOD DECIDES TO TAKE MY LIFE, I KNOW WHY.
THE LAST TIME I CRIED
JANUARY......THE START OF THE NEW YEAR. ISH SUPPOSED 2 BE A GOOD MONTH, BUT NOT 4 YA GURL SASHA. BACKIN UP 2 JANUARY OF 2001 IS WHAT I THINK ABOUT ERREY YEAR ABOUT THIS TYME. I HAD JUSS TURNED 11 AND WENT 2 TOTEM MIDDLE SCHOOL. IT WAS A FRIDAY NIGHT AND I HAD A BAD TUMMY ACHE AND I HAD A BAD DREAM SO I SLEPT WITH MY MOMMY. WELL EARLY THAT SATURDAY MORNING IN MY MOMS ROOM, MY AUNTIE CALLED AND TOLD HER THAT YOU HAD DIED. I WAS IN DENIAL OF THE NEWS AND ACTED LYKE IT WAS NEVA SAID. BUT MY MOMMY JUST LAYED IN HER BED SRYING, SAYING, "WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM AWAY 4RM US GOD!!!" BUT STILL I WAS IN DENIAL. A WEEK LATER AT THE FUNERAL ON THE 21ST WHEN THEY LET ERREYBODY VIEW UR BODY, MY MOMMY WOULDNT LET ME, CLAIMING THAT I WOULD HAVE MORE NIGHTMARES IF I DID. BUT ALL I WANTED 2 DO WAS SAY GOODBYE AND PROVE 2 MYSELF THAT IT REALLY WASNT YOU THAT LEFT ME HERE. IT DIDNT HIT ME UNTIL AFTER THE FUNERAL WHEN MY COUSIN GAVE ME A HUG. THATS WHEN TEARS BEGAN FALLING AND I BROKE DOWN IN HER ARMS LYKE NEVA B4. WHY DID U HAVE 2 LEAVE??? THE THINGS I WENT THRU COULD'VE BEEN A LOT LESS WORSE IF U HAD'VE STAYED A LIL WHILE LONGER. WHEN THAT MAN CONTINUOUSLY TOUCHED ME IN THE WRONG PLACES, U COULD'VE FIXED IT. I WOULDNT HAVE MADE THE BAD CHOICES I MADE ABOUT BOYS IF U HADNT OF LEFT SO SOON. IF U STAYED, UR DAUGHTER WOULDNT BE SO "OUT THERE." IN MY EYES U WERE THE CLOSET THING 2 GOD AND THE BEST MAN ON EARTH. U WERE ALSO THE BEST AND CLOSEST THING I HAD 2 A FATHER THAT I HAD. NO ONE WILL EVA SEE ME BREAK DOWN IN TEARS LYKE I DID WHEN U LEFT CUZ IN MY EYES, U LEAVIN WAS THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVA HAPPEN 2 ME. SO THERES NO NEED 2 CRY BOUT OTHER STUFF THAT HAPPENS 2 ME CUZ ISH NOT NEAR AS BAD AS U GOIN AWAY. WHEN I GOT IN THAT FIGHT, PEOPLE SAY THAT I HIT HER 4 NO GOOD REASON. BUT WHAT THEY DONT KNOW IS THAT I DIDNT JUSS HIT HER CUZ SHE CALLED ME A BITCH AND PUSHED ME. I WAS LETTING OUT SOME OF THE ANGER AND HURTFULLNESS THAT GOD LET ME FEEL BACK IN 2001. AS I LOOK AT THE PICTURE OF U ON MY WALL, I JUSS WISH I THAT I COULD SEE U 1 MORE TYME. YOU WERE A TALL, STOCKY, BUILT MAN SO WHEN U HUGGED ME, IT FELT LYKE A BIG HEAVENLY BEAR. UR HUGS MADE ME FEEL LYKE ERREYTHING WAS GONNA BE OK. IF ONLY GOD WOULD LET ME HUG U 1 MORE TYME!!! I WISH U WERE HERE 2 SEE THE THINGS I'VE DONE, LYKE HOW IM DOIN GOOD IN SCHOOL AND I FINALLY MADE A VERY GOOD CHOICE ABOUT A YOUNG MAN IN MY LYFE. I GOT A LIL TALLER, AND I CUT MY HAIR ONLY CUZ I HAD 2!!! U REMEMBER THOSE TALKS AND WALKS??? WE STILL DO THOSE, BUT ONLY IN MY DREAMS.
I HONESTLY DONT NEED NO ONE CAUSE IVE BEEN ALONE IN EVERYTHING THATS BEEN DONE AND THE PPL IN MY LIFE ARE THERE BY CHOICE AND IF THEY WALK OUT ON ME, YOU WONT HEAR MY VOICE BEGGING THEM TO COME BACK IN MY LIFE AND BECAUSE THEY ARENT NEEDED, MY TOUNGUE I WONT HAVE TO BITE UNLESS YOU HAVE GIVEN ME LIFE OR PAID ANY OF MY BILLS, AT ANY TIME YOU ARE FREE TO WALK OUT OF MY SITE CAUSE I CAN DO THAT AND MORE ON MY OWN I USED TO BE GIVING AND CARING, AND THAT WAS ALL THAT WAS SHOWN UNTIL IT KEPT GETTING ABUSED AND TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF I THEN BECAME STUBBORN AND CARELESS OF CERTAIN STUFF BUT TO THOSE WHO HAVENT TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF ME I HAVE YET BEEN CARING AND GIVING AS CAN BE AND THESE FEW PEOPLE KNOW WHO THEY ARE BECAUSE ITS ME THEY HAVE CHERISHED SO FAR AND THEY KNOW IM THE RINGLEADER OF MY LIFE SO IF ANYONE TRIES TO STAB ME WITH A KNIFE THEIR THROAT I WILL SLICE
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